Monthly Archives: October 2015

Adoption order and an incompetent social worker

For a while now, we have talked about applying for the adoption order. We have been in a position to apply for the adoption order from 10 weeks after the placement. LO has been with us for much longer than that and we want to make her a permanent member of the family so we asked Richard and John how to go about doing this. We didn’t get any information from John but we did from Richard. It came to a head when John visited at the same time as Richard. John said all-knowingly, that we will be able to apply for the adoption order when we have had LO for 10 weeks. We stared at him in disbelief as LO has been with us for much longer than that and we have discussed this previously. Not to mention the fact that we’ve sent him emails about our court application. We tried to patiently tell him the situation again. The conversation moved on and John asked for LO’s medical reports. We told him he should have it on file as Denise would have received it months before, but we offered to send it to him again. This was after John got the Prospective Adopters Report confused with the Child Permanence Report and asked for both reports in the end. We reminded him that he should have all of this on file already but he said he couldn’t find them electronically. We said he must have had hard copies of all the reports on file but he looked at us blankly as if we were speaking a different language. ¬†After us trying to clarify what was very clear already (and us losing our patience with his stupidity), he finally said that they didn’t have any hard copies or any electronic copies of anything of our case! We were exasperated by this point and I really wanted to strangle him. Richard had to intervene and diplomatically say he would send them all again. We wrapped up our meeting with John agreeing to complete his section of the Annex A of the Adoption order application (the bit that the social workers have to complete) and to complete the references for us. I’m a bit worried that he will be writing a court report on us when he hardly knows us. I just hope he manages to complete his bit because from what I’ve seen so far, I have hardly any faith in him.

Loving the little things

So life is ticking on as LO becomes more settled into her new family. Everyday I am greeted with a big smile from LO when I get her out of her cot. She makes me laugh and smile, and forget about all the trivial things that stress me out. She has given me so much joy and had ended years of yearning for me. For years I yearned for a career and then I yearned for a child. It isn’t like my career has been successful as such, it’s just that my priorities have changed over the years. When I was young, I wanted to ‘be’ something and spent years unsuccessfully chasing a career I thought I wanted. Years later, I changed tack and moved into an office job and then wanted a challenge so I got a more senior job which meant long hours and being on call at weekends and working for a maniac. After this stressful job, I realised that it doesn’t really matter any more. All I wanted is a job that I could leave at work and not work ridiculous hours, particularly as we were in the adoption process. So now LO is in our lives, my new priority is to enjoy being with her!

The weird thing is, that I wondered if I could stomach changing the nappy of a child who wasn’t biologically mine. I know it sounds stupid but it was a question rather than a concern. Of course, I could and I do it without blinking an eye (unless she’s done a really stinky one!) I also wondered if I could genuinely love a child who wasn’t biologically mine. Again, it’s a stupid thought and again, not a pressing one, but obviously I can. She is a wonder and gives me so much joy. There are so many little things that she does that make me happy. The other day, I came home and LO ran up to me at the front door and said ‘hi!’. It was the best way to be welcomed home.