Family visits

My parents came to meet LO again and they have completely forgotten that she needs time to adjust to new people and they have to wait for her to come to them. They were in her face and quite loud when talking to her that it became too much. She was bewildered by the noise and intense interactions of being picked up without wanting to or following her around the room (not knowing that she was actually trying to get away from them). They were also asking when we could go around their house with her, not remembering that she has only been with us for about a week. After they had left, we calmed LO down but that night, we heard a low moaning sound coming from the baby monitor. LO was having a nightmare and was sobbing in her sleep. We probably did the worst thing and woke her up to comfort her. It then took a couple of hours to get her back down again. I was quite cross at my parents who think that she is like any other child and quite cross at myself for letting this happen. I wrote my parents an email to try and put them in her shoes and basically, in the nicest way, and in the interests of LO, to back off. The problem is, is that my parents don’t quite get it, that children need to come to you and you can’t force these things as, if anything, it makes them less eager to come to you. After writing them an email, I rang them to tell them to read it. I got a reply from my dad who completely missed the mark, saying that he loved her no matter who she is. I had to reply to him to tell that this was not the point and reminded him that he needed to move slowly and informed them of what happened that night. They came again the next day and went the other way, in which they didn’t really touch her. But then after 10 minutes, they forgot themselves, well, my dad did anyway, and was again following her around the room and being in her face. However, as my mum was calm, she was okay and luckily they left before she got agitated. It’s quite difficult as my parents clearly want to embrace her into the family which is a lovely thing but it is also too much too soon. As they don’t really understand, I am really going to have to keep an eye on how she is with them and unfortunately, not invite them around too much whilst she is getting used to us. LO needs us to protect her and to feel secure and this is what we will strive to do, even if it is against my parents.

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2 thoughts on “Family visits

  1. ivebeenthere98 February 14, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    Did Lo come from a bad background? Have you written about that?

  2. sonicwriter February 15, 2015 at 10:26 am

    Hi. Most children who are adopted in the UK come from a difficult background.

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