I read somewhere that the matching process is very difficult. This is definitely true. As an adopter, the control is really out of your hands. You can try and help yourself by looking for children on Children Who Wait or Be My Parent or on AdoptionLink. However, it still boils down to the social workers being proactive themselves by listening to you and contacting a child’s social worker. The child’s social worker then weighs up whether they think you would be a good match for their child. Then the long drawn out wait to hear if they do, then a home visit and more visits. It’s a trying time for any person’s patience. Waiting to start a family and putting your life on hold is a terrible thing to feel and can be very frustrating. I’ve noticed that before we went on holiday, my posts were getting increasingly negative. We were definitely reaching the end of our tether which is why we went on holiday.
So to stop being negative and letting this process dragging me down, I have been doing a few things. Firstly, I started another blog about reading. It’s completely unrelated to adoption and it’s nice to write other things for a change. Secondly, I’ve unofficially started doing the 100 days challenge in which you have to find something positive every day for 100 days. I say unofficially because I do not have a Facebook account or a Twitter account or any other social media account apart from this one and I didn’t want to bore anyone else with a third blog.
In terms of preparing for a little one, we had our nephews to stay over a weekend without the parents. A social worker told us that matching panels like it if potential adopters have had children stay with them in their house. It was a daunting prospect to have two boisterous boys running around but everything went okay and it made me feel more confident that I could be a parent after all.
As I said in my last post, we are trying to save up some money too so hopefully our finances won’t be too damaged when we get a little one. I am also trying to get into shape (very slowly – it’s a long term project!) so I will have more energy running after a small person.
So there you go, my survival tips for this horrendous process. I’ve only recently started this tips myself but I think they’re helping.