Days are going by and things are getting a little easier. Family have been brilliant and really supportive even though they are disappointed too. I’ve been going to work and realised that my colleagues don’t really know how much I’ve been affected by the match falling through. This is completely down to me as I compartmentalise my emotions so I am normal when I’m at work and then feel sad when I’m alone. It’s an old habit from my childhood to hide how I really felt. I’m not too sure that I want to get rid of this habit as it has helped me to get on with things as long as I give space and time for my true emotions.
Anyway, before we heard about James’ match falling through, I booked myself on a course about Life story work. Life story work is something you do with your adopted child to help them understand and process what has happened to them. I was a bit wobbly at first but I managed to control my emotions and got on with the course. The course was really informative and the people were really nice. Life story work is really important to do with an adopted child so they can make sense of their life journey so far. In the UK, adopted children come with a life story book already and the adoptive parents should continue their story book and add other elements as the child gets older as well as add present day items too. Present day things such as accomplishments or the child’s favourite things helps the child to feel validated in their life and gives them a sense of self. I’ve found a really good website called Life Story works that helps with difficult issues such as mental health or drug problems.
So life goes on and hopefully we will soon feel stronger to being our journey again.