Monthly Archives: May 2013

Third home visit, family references & medical forms

Well a lot has happened since I blogged but I haven’t had the time to write until now. We had our third visit the other day which was technically not at home. We went to Lucy’s office as she is heavily pregnant and it’s easier for us to go to her straight from work. The third visit was supposed to be about our childhoods but as we were naughty, we didn’t get our homework to her until late the night before. Instead, we talked about our relationship and how we met, what are we like, what is the other person like, etc. etc. It went well, apart feeling like I repeated what my beloved said (as we had to tell our own version of how we met and what happened from there).

We definitely get the feeling that Lucy is not going to get us to panel before she goes on maternity leave. She was referring to ‘handing us over’ for other sections of the form and saying that she wanted to get some sections ‘complete’ before she leaves. Oh well, it was a very ambitious idea!

It is so strange because after every visit, we pour our hearts out and give so much of ourselves away to effectively a stranger and then the stranger goes, leaving us feeling empty and spent, and not quite knowing what to do with ourselves. The best thing I think is to meet up with friends and talk about something else with a nice glass of wine!

Another thing that happened is that my beloved’s mother and my sister met with Lucy and talked about us. It was quite exciting for the family to be involved and quite a nice feeling to know that the process is going through its motions. I think our family found it quite interesting to find out more and to meet Lucy. It sounded as if both visits went well and now two more references to go! This will be our two close friends who have known us a long time. They both have received the form so I guess we wait to hear when they will meet our SW.  

Another thing that happened (it was a while ago but I forgot to add it) is that we had our medicals done. Well, when I say medicals, I really mean a doctor who went through some notes and asked some questions. We met the same doctor on different days and times and it sounded as though he was having a bad day when she saw him as he was quite rude and inefficient. He didn’t check her weight, height and quite insensitively asked ‘can’t you have children of your own?’. Luckily, my beloved is made of stronger stuff and didn’t feel upset by this. However, this would be quite upsetting for someone who was infertile. So after hearing about her horror story, I was fully prepared to fight my corner. However, he seemed to be in a better mood and his so-called subtle version of asking me if I was infertile was ‘do you have any children of your own?’. After I had said, ‘no, not yet’, he looked at me for a moment, pondering whether he should push it any further but wisely, chose not to. He did some ridiulous medical check on me by bending and flexing my arms and legs. It’s quite astonishing that such a lack lustre approach could warrant him getting paid by our LA to write this report. I suppose it has to be doe but really, the doctor could have had more of a sensitive approach. I’m glad it’s done and over but waiting to hear back if the medical advisor from the LA wants to discuss anything further, which wouldn’t be surprising as the form is shoddily completed.

So now we are left with the question: who will we get when Lucy goes on maternity leave and will they be as nice as Lucy? I hope so!