Monthly Archives: February 2013

Prep group no 3

Hello again. It’s been a while since I’ve posted but not much to report to be honest. We’ve had the third prep group and it was about the medical issues some children in care may face. It was actually quite uplifting as most children are resilient and some overcome their difficult beginnings into this world. I’m not saying that everyone becomes better but it was definitely a more positive message they were giving. One thing that really stuck out is that your child may face prejudice in schools, medical care etc. if they are adopted. They may dismiss any problems, thinking it’s because the child was adopted or was in care, when in reality, it might be something really simple to overcome. I suppose we need to be in the know about what there is out there for our potential child and fight for it. I hope I’m not going to be one of those mothers with a sense of entitlement. It’s more within reason of course!

We have one more prep group and then the home study. I’m going to miss the prep groups – they’ve been really good. I will try and keep in contact with a few of the people there as it’s really important to have mutual support through these trying times.

In the meantime, we’re still waiting for our doctor to complete our medical forms, I’m looking into more volunteering with children just to give me that little extra confidence. I’ve already had some experience with kids but the more, the better I guess!

Prep group

Had the second prep group and it went really well. It was all about loss and attachment and was very emotional for all. I got quite teary as did a lot of people. It seems so strange how you can find out so much about a room full of people in such a short amount of time. The prep groups are really good and makes you reflect on things that you need to do before you go any further in adoption.

Had a bit more homework so we’ve been working on that. Also had a bunch of forms sent to us to complete such as CRB checks, doctor forms, a more detailed application for adoption etc.etc. I can’t tell you how many times I completed my address list but it seemed like loads and loads.

Apart from that, not much else has been happening. Just taking it slowly really and remembering to have time away from thinking/doing/writing about adoption. It’s important to remember to take some time away from the whole thing as it can really play on your mind. So that’s my tip for today. Have fun!

Not so good news anymore

So after a period of highs, I hear that I don’t get the job at my old work. Even worse, I hear that other people knew I hadn’t got it before I did. This was what really upset me the most as it meant putting some of my old colleagues, who are friends into an awkward situation. I also felt sad because this meant that we were back to the drawing board about my beloved being the primary carer and questions as to whether we could still go ahead with adopting due to our finances.

I cried, cried and cried somemore the night I heard as I was bitterly disappointed, especially as so much was riding on it. My beloved and I had major discussions that night as a serious doubt crept in about whether we could still afford to adopt. As the hours passed, the doubt grew and grew. After a very emotional night, we retired to bed as I am a great believer that things look better in the morning. And they did. I awoke feeling somewhat emotional but had more resolve and determination to start again. As Destiny’s child once said, dust myself off and try again, try again… ahem…

So here I am, finally up to date and ready to try again to find a job in these difficult times. So I guess its time to dust off my CV and pimp myself out onto the job market.

In the meantime, I will finish off my homework for the next prep group. I won’t be posting as much as I have done as I have now caught you up with my news and I doubt there will be much until then. If you have reached this point, thanks for sticking with it so far!

Good news here, there and everywhere

Knowing how social workers are busy and from our previous experience with them, and reading about other people’s experiences, we weren’t expecting to hear from the social worker until 4 weeks later, even though she said 2 weeks. So you can imagine my surprise when I got a voice mail saying that we were accepted by them and that a space had opened up onto their preparation group that was due to start two days later!

Not only that but I also had the interview a day later for the other job. Everything was happening so fast which was great! The interview went really well and the first day of the preparation group was fantastic too.

I was concerned that some other people would be homophobic or a bit cautious that we were a same sex couple, but it wasn’t like that at all. There was only one straight couple, two other same-sex couples and the rest were single adopters. I had also expected to not like at least one social worker there (due to reading other blogs) but they were all lovely! The day was long and intense but uplifting too. It was crammed with We went away with some home work to do about ourselves to bring back next week. Three more days of prep groups over 3 weeks, and then I think we get allocated a social worker to start the proper hardcore home-visits.