why adoption?

The first question is why adoption? Why not do it the ol’fashioned way and use a turkey baster like Jacqui off of ‘Brookside’? Well this question is quite difficult to put into words. When I was young, I never really liked children and never thought about having kids. However as I got older, my views started to change. I met the love of my life and the idea of having children crept up behind me like a mugger in the night. However, I never had strong feelings on being pregnant and never really gave it much thought to be honest. I somehow assumed that my beloved would bear the fruits of her womb rather than me. This was not what she planned however.

My beloved was quite adament about not having children for many reasons: 1) There are so many children in the world that require a loving home, 2) We can’t have children naturally, 3) She can love children that aren’t biologically hers and 4) The world is already overpopulated and its resources are at breaking point.

Something you need to know is that I am quite laid-back and take life as it comes. I’m not really a forward planner (which is strange considering forward-planning is a major part of my current job) and this obviously has to change when thinking about children and our future. So I knew I wanted to have a family with my beloved but the ‘ins and outs’ (pardon the pun) were somewhat ambiguous. What I had to think about was ‘is this what I want or what she wants or that we both want?’. One not-so-handy tactic I have when having to think about something difficult/life-changing/important (which I suppose is one thing really), is to avoid it and distract myself with unimportant tasks. So I became engrossed in the TV and put that question aside for a rainy day. Well, it rained. And it rained and the only thing to do on a rainy day is to watch more TV until my beloved sat me down and had a grown-up conversation with me and the question has been pushed to the forefront.

The weird thing is, is that we started the adoption process with our previous council but our flat was unsuitable for a child and so we put it on hold to save up and buy a flat, which we have done. No more distractions, we were going to start the process again and I had to be sure that I could confidentally answer the question ‘why adoption?’. This question is probably why I started this blog, to give myself a chance to put my thoughts down without any interruption.

The answer to this question is that I want to have children with my beloved. I think we would be great parents who would give a child a loving and stable home. I have no strong desire to be pregnant but I have a strong desire to be a parent and I can love any child, regardless if they share my genes. Adoption is not something I would have thought of before when looking into the future but neither was me giving birth. I think I just saw us having a child but how that child came about was hazy. My beloved feels strongly about adoption and if this is the way to give a child a home, then this would be the way for me. Finally, we would both be equal in the child-rearing and one of us would not be left out if we had a children biologically.

I hope that answers my own question and it has given me clarity about why. Thanks for reading my stream of consciousness.

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